Friday, 24 August 2018

The life-changing magic of not giving a F*ck

It feels like a million miles away from the gorgeous sunshine of today, but on the 13th March I woke up cold, miserable, and poorly. How is this important? Because it was my birthday.

I have never been bought a book by my brother in my life, other than Harry Potter of course, but for my birthday this year he bought me The Life-changing magic of not giving a f*ck, written by Sarah Knight, (It is loosely based on the book The life-changing magic of Tidying up, only with a focus on how cleaning up your "mental mess" can help you, rather than your unmade bed). Looking back, I can understand why. I was so stressed at work that it was affecting my physical health. My lifestyle consisted of little more than work, sleep, and eating take-out. I didn't really know anyone in the area other than my partner. As far as I could see, there was no quick way out of the mess I had found myself in. My brother knows me well enough to know that I wouldn't have listened if he tried to give me advice, so maybe this was his way of giving me the kickstart I needed?

In the book it describes how we each have a "F*ck budget" - a limited amount of energy we can give to caring about things whether they're good or bad. Obviously some things are automatically on the list of things I care about: Family, friends, my home, my pets, my health. But there was also a lot of things on my mind that weren't as positive. Sarah describes this as "stretching my f*ck budget". It was these things that were making me feel tired, stressed, and worn-out. Makes sense, there is only so much that we can stress about before we begin to crack.

Sarah encourages us to think about what we would like to cut out of our lives based on how much joy it brings us, often using anecdotes from her own life to help explain her point.I felt like the book pointed out the obvious path you would need to take to have a happier life, but sometimes we all feel that we are so stuck in a situation that we need someone to give us a straight-talking guide on where to begin. We need that reminder that it is okay to do what makes you happy regardless of what people think. Plus, if you can get over the over-use of the word f*ck in the first section of the book, it reads well.

Seeing as I had nothing to lose I decided to put some of the ideas in the book to practice. Obviously what I was doing was not aligning with what I care about. My job was meaning that I was losing out on time with those most important to me, and was making me physically sick. I wasn't looking after my basic needs let alone doing things purely for the joy in it - no wonder I was miserable! I decided I didn't care enough about the company I worked for to continue suffering, and left immediately, finding something almost perfect within 2 weeks of handing my notice in. The new job allowed for a better work/life balance, more time with my friends and family, and more time to spend on things that make me genuinely happy. - Who knew all I needed was the little push this book would give? 

In spirit of the book, here is my list 
Five things I don't give a F*ck about:

Reality TV 
Love island, Big Brother, X-factor etc, I completely accept that I don't have the attention span to watch something every day, or even at the same time each week. If I can't binge it, it doesn't get watched. Even if I do miss out on a few conversations in the office. 

Going "out out" 
I am a complete idiot when I'm drunk, I can never have a night out that doesn't cost a weeks wages, and I get hangovers that last me three days. Pub Quiz? I'm in. Night Club? No thanks. 

Ru Paul
I cannot remember their names to save my life. Just, so many names. I give up. I surrender. I will never understand another meme again, but I am past trying to keep up.

Blogger Drama
Why can't we just be nice to each other girls? (and boys?) We're all in this together.

Fitting in
It is so sad that people judge us on our hobbies/interests/passions just because it isn't deemed cool. I like what I like, and if you aren't going to sit through three hours of Wheel of Fortune, you can leave now. 

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